sigh. right now having my mix of vodka with orangina rouge flavour. must say it tastes nice. really nice. mind's in a swirl. someone's on my mind. the past on my mind.

people always hated what did in the past or they regret what they did. how many a time would you actually hear of people saying this is a lesson for my future to themselves. more often than not it's their friends who'd usually tell them so. how i wish i could turn back time again. live back the past whatever the reason may be.

o levels are ending for many people tomorrow. i hope it brings me some happiness? who knows. the future is uncertain. i like it that way. our lives are made beautiful with images of tomorrow of what we want or wish for. but it's made colourful when we don't get what we want or wish. because that's when things really start to turn around for you.

vodka vodka. i love vodka. look at that swirling drink. i see myself. have i really turned myself to the past to be who i was again. i don't recognise who i am now. this year has been such a life changing experience for me. and so the drink swirls into uncertainty. i do not know where my life will lead next.

dear God, have you decided to give up on me again? my prayers, my wishes, they don't seem to be answered anymore? have i completed your plan that you do not answer me anymore? have i really become a beast? that same person that destroyed one relationship. i'm afraid of the future. seems like my dreams of yesterday won't come true. but that's alright. if it does, it's Your miracle. my blessing, my testimonial. i still pray i'd be able to find the way. that one shining light that takes me away from this world, this place, this reality, all my hate, all my passion. please don't forsake me... amen.

candice chew! tmr o levels finishing. you owe me a date and a long chat on the phone! i miss you lots! can't wait to chat with you again after tmr! =) seemed like a long time since we last had a chat it seems to me. hmm. wonder if you feel the same too.

ending off. with a toast to all and anyone who are drinking right now.